Warning: Ranting post. You have been warned.

I never agreed if someone said, "Life is unfair" or the vice versa meaning. To me, it's just how the things evolves around you.

Just ask the question to yourself, "Am I doing the right thing?" to every actions you've done.

I'm going downhill faster than ever this time. I felt this before, and I still don't know how to get myself back up. I ever said that school was my life (yes, despite how horrendous sometime school can get), but it's the only time for me to get away from home and spend my time outside. Friends are like my second family. Without them, I'd be dead now hanging lifeless, sitting infront of my computer all day in my room and listen to my parents nagging about me every time just about everything. Isn't it amazing? And no, this is not the first time.

Sometimes I feel like I can't make people appreciate for things I've done, but I'm not hoping for such. Am I being disrespected? Just because I'm that young around them? Sometimes I just wanna give the finger to them who just can't get what I mean. Doesn't mean that every time I shut myself up is just because I'm not willing to fight back. I have my patience, and I've been holding it back for too long now. I have my reasons too.

Maybe I don't deserve it at all, despite how much I wanted for it.. and that includes everything around me. If my life is destined to be like this, then all I can say is to at least hold on for a little while longer and accept it even though if it were to be the most retarded life moments ever in my life. I hoped for the world to be a better place to live in, but.. things around me (particularly me), I almost lost myself. Why can I just be like anybody else who lives happy?

I'm done fake-ing smiles and shit. I just don't know for long I could hold on this way. Really, it feels forever.

Labels: pissed, rants